Sunset at the Ranch
Howdy, pardner. So glad you stopped by. Set a spell, and let me get you some sarsaparilla. It’ll cool ya right down. People in town said you was riding West, visitin’ towns, on the look out for a good yarn. Well, I got one for ya. I know I’m just a cowboy, nobody special, kinda like that anonymous cowpoke at the bar in that Big Lebowski movie, but I’m fixin’ to tell you a story that needs tellin’. It’s about these two brothers. You’ve probably heard this kinda story before: two kin, closely related, but so diffrnt. One is a fine upstanding young’un, helping people, looking to do good, and not making a lot of noise. The other? Well, as you mighta suspected, he’s the complete opposite. A hellraiser, runnin’ with a fast crowd, lookin’ for trouble, and getting’ rowdy at every opportunity. What were their names? Around these parts, we just called ’em the Golf boys. Little e-Golf, and his brother GTI.
Well, as all good stories go, this one started about 40 years ago. You see, the Golf family was immigrants; made their way across the pond from some little town in Germany. Bein’ foreign and all, it took some time for people to warm up to them. But once they did, they was as popular as a bull in a cow patch. They was fine lookin’, and was always there to help, no matter what the job. They was plenty fun, too. Well, after a while, they stopped being outsiders, and became respected townsfolk.
Along the way, they made a lot of fine offspring, and for the most part, they stayed outta trouble. But somewhere along the line, something went a little haywire, if you know what I mean. Some of them started to get a little meaner, wearin’ their britches a little lower, and carryin’ some big guns. They also started demanding more money from people for their services, mostly hauling folks and their stuff all over kingdom come. People paid it, because them Golf boys got ’em to their next place a lot faster than other who could go the same place. Plus they always had room to carry lots of goods due to their fancy back side that lifted up and out of the way.
Well this year, the two newest young’uns to come from the Golf Ranch include those GTI and e-Golf boys. I’m gonna tell you about GTI now, because if he got wind that I talked about his no-power brother first, well, I’d be a little worried, that’s all.
GTI, well, he’s one bad hombre. He looks a lot like his brother; actually the whole Golf family looks the same. They got a boxy shape, but their faces slope forward pretty strong. They got them big eyes, and a nose that stands out, but nothing like some other guys in their crowd. GTI also wears more black than the rest of the family, mostly around the chin and tail area. He mixes it up with this red that reminds you of the devil hisself. If he was goin’ for that tough look, he certainly achieved it. And his shoes. You know it’s GTI comin’ when you see those shoes. They’re mean, aggressive, and when they start movin, we all get out of the way.
It’s a funny thing. You know how they say sometimes the rougher the exterior, the softer the interior? This is sorta the case with GTI, but don’t let that get around. He’s more mature than ever before, and we know that means spreading out in dimensions (don’t you dare say fat, or we’ll both be dead). And he’s got a lot of the features that, iffin you can get close enough to him, you’ll probably love. Let’s just say, he’s loaded up and has enough to satisfy anyone who dares to fall in love with him.
GTI also has eyes in the back of his head, so he don’t miss a trick. Don’t try to sneak up on him, because he can see everything that’s going on back there the minute he starts to backup. GTI may be ready for action at all times, but he loves him some music that will soothe his soul. He don’t go nowhere without his Fender, and it sure sounds purty, especially when he’s playing as he’s riding along, with his hat cocked back and the wind blowing all around him.