Romancing the Ambulance: Man attempts sex with rescue vehicle

meandmyabmiYou really have to be lonely to try to romance an ambulance. On the other hand, attempting to have sex with one is more likely a result of drugs than despair.

According to The Telegraph, that’s the reason 25-year old Englishman Callum Ward “was seen ‘pressing’ himself against the emergency vehicle before “simulating a sex act on the bonnet.” Ward had taken amphetamines and smoked marijuana aand was reportedly “in relatively high spirits” having earlier seen setting fire to a pack of peanuts

Apparently lighting the legumes didn’t provide sufficient thrill. According the official police logs, an officer who saw him said, “It looks as though he is attempting to make love to the front of the ambulance.”

It’s not wholly unprecedented, The Telegraph also noting that a Scot named Robert Stewart (naturally enough) had been caught trying to have sex with a bicycle. It earned him a spot on the registered sex offenders list.

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John is a veteran auto writer, first published in Custom Rodder magazine in 1980. Since then, he has been published in all the big car magazines, including Car and Driver, Road & Track, Motor Trend, Auto Week, Automobile, plus a variety of others, including but certainly not limited to Automobile Quarterly, Collectible Automobile, and Special Interest Automobiles. John’s work has also been featured in a number of consumer and general interest magazines such as Consumers Digest, Popular Science and others. John has written four books, including a history of the Mazda RX-7 (selling for more out-of-print than it did new), buyers’ guides for Mazda, Datsun/Nissan and Volvo cars, and is co-author of 365 Cars You Must Drive with Motor Trend editor Matt Stone, and his work has been translated into Italian, Estonian, Portuguese, Russian, and Bulgarian. John is recipient of the prestigious Ken Purdy Award for Excellence in Automotive Journalism, awarded by the International Motor Press Association, and the Golden Quill from the Washington Automotive Press Association. John has three adult daughters and has been married for more that four decades to Mary Ann, Distinguished Professor of Mathematics at East Stroudsburg University of Pennsylvania.