Romancing the Ambulance: Man attempts sex with rescue vehicle

meandmyabmiYou really have to be lonely to try to romance an ambulance. On the other hand, attempting to have sex with one is more likely a result of drugs than despair.

According to The Telegraph, that’s the reason 25-year old Englishman Callum Ward “was seen ‘pressing’ himself against the emergency vehicle before “simulating a sex act on the bonnet.” Ward had taken amphetamines and smoked marijuana aand was reportedly “in relatively high spirits” having earlier seen setting fire to a pack of peanuts

Apparently lighting the legumes didn’t provide sufficient thrill. According the official police logs, an officer who saw him said, “It looks as though he is attempting to make love to the front of the ambulance.”

It’s not wholly unprecedented, The Telegraph also noting that a Scot named Robert Stewart (naturally enough) had been caught trying to have sex with a bicycle. It earned him a spot on the registered sex offenders list.